Last night had been uneventful. Nothing really happened throughout the day except the fact that I finally learned how to make baked chicken! That was probably the highlight. Mom's was acting like she didn't want to eat it though, whatever that's her. But please believe after it was done, she got her a few pieces and smashed on it. Baked chicken, green beans, and potato salad. I had bread while she had that PS. I do NOT like store bought potato salad, that shit is disgusting but she be killing it like it's really the business though.
Yesterday, my sister told me that she had cried. What for? She felt as if we were drifting apart. "Like after the time you came down here for the first time, we talked and then we just stopped talking for a long time... You didn't call me and I didn't call you. It's like a cycle and I hate goin through that." that really made me upset because I don't want her crying for/over me. But I told her things were slightly different now, I have more responsibility on my plate just like I did back then and us talking through all hours of the night was mainly the reason why I couldn't get up in the morning for classes. She doesn't go to school, she doesn't have that issue so she doesn't know. It's not totally her fault because I was on the phone with her too but at the same time, she should've hung up in my face and told me to go to bed.
After she got that out of her system, my younger cousin called me distraught and crying. So immediately I tell my sister I'll call you back and see what's up with her. Sometime last year she was acting like this - her baby daddy had her all fucked up in the mental. I told her straight up that she needed to let his behind go because all he is doing to her is making false promises. He barely comes to see his child, he always has some excuse about why or he doesn't give one at all, he doesn't do anything for him. He's giving her enough to hold onto to while he continues doing him and hurting her in the process. "I just want him to tell me that he doesn't love me anymore." She doesn't need him to tell her that - especially if she feels it in her heart. If she has to question his love for her then obviously it's not there, and I told her do you feel in your heart from his actions that he loves you. Survey says???? NO.
You'll never get over someone that you truly love, you'll just learn to cope and deal without it. My mom had to do it with my dad and people are dealing with it everyday. She wants someone to love her and be there for her but she needs to be there for herself first before she allows a man to do it for her. That way she can depict what is real and what is fake. And it isn't even about her anymore, she has a son to raise as well.
But after that, Mark finally got off of work and came over. We were chilling in the living room for the most part until I fell asleep on his lap. It seemed as soon as he came in, sat down and I got him some water; I was done. We were sleeping for a good minute until I told him to come to my room to sleep. It was nice. I like sleeping next to him - he doesn't snore or anything like that. The last time that I actually fallen asleep next to someone, comfortably, was Mack. He's another blog by himself though. Well yeah... he spent the night and left early in the morning because his asthma was messing up and he didn't have his inhaler.
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